Beautiful Smile
by icanfly00
Summary: Emily Lightman had a beautiful smile. Loker gets a call that Emily is in the hospital, and he goes there to comfort her. Rated T for the topic of suicide Loker/Emily friendship and Cal/Emily


Emily Lightman had a beautiful smile.

That is, of course when she showed it off. Loker couldn't remember the last time he saw a micro expression of happiness on her face, a flash of joy. Loker knew the basic code of being a human lie detector; don't meddle in other's people business, and keep it professional. He also knew the rule of asking questions about your boss's daughter. Don't.

Eli wished that he had said something, that he had stepped up. No amount of being yelled at was worse than what being passive had lead to.

Loker had thought that Emily might be going through a hard time, fighting with a best friend or other "teenage girl stuff". He disregarded her sadness as "normal".

He wished that he hadn't.

It was a normal day in the Lightman Group, Cal off god knows where with Foster cleaning up behind him. Torres and Loker sat in the lab, bored out of their minds, spinning around aimlessly in the office chairs, waiting for Lightman to clue them in to his next case. Ria was taking the micro expression test again, hoping for an even higher score, and Eli was looking for jobs on Cal's laptop.

Loker's cell phone rang and he grabbed it, hoping to see "Lightman" who he thought would be calling with something useful for them to do. Instead, it was an un-recognized number. "Hello?" Eli asked, unsure of who would be calling. Ria looked up at him expectantly, silently asking if it was Lightman. Loker shook his head dismissively.

"Mr. Loker?" The voice on the other end of the phone asked. "I'm calling from Memorial Hospital about Miss Emily Lightman." "Emily?" Eli asked, "What's going on? And why am I the one being called?" "We could not reach Cal or Zoe, and you were listed as an extra emergency contact. I think that you should come in to see Emily." An extra emergency contact? Eli thought. I guess Lightman doesn't hate me as much as he lets on. "I'll be right there." Eli said, "Is, is she ok?" Eli stumbled on his words, his mind a tornado of thoughts about every possible situation that could have happened to Emily. "She's… she's stable." The voice said. Eli knew when someone wasn't telling him the whole truth and that phone call was a classic example. Eli hung up and started to grab his jacket and keys. "Where are you going?" Ria questioned. "I thought it wasn't Lightman." "It wasn't. It was the hospital. Emily's there and I don't know what happened. I need you to take care of things while I'm gone and keep trying to reach Lightman, tell him it's urgent." Ria nodded and Eli was out the door.

Loker drove about 10 miles above the speed limit the whole time. His fingers tapped nervously on the steering wheel as he entered the hospital parking lot. Eli rushed into the building, right up to reception. "Where's Emily Lightman?" He asked the receptionist, still out of breath. "Fourth floor, room 436." The lady responded, and Loker was up the stairs before she could say anything else.

Eli knocked lightly on the door, not wanting to wake Emily if she was asleep. A doctor opened the door but before he could start talking to Loker, Eli noticed a mess of expressions on Emily's face. Shame, guilt, fear, sadness, and anger that seemed to be directed at herself. She looked so young and innocent sitting in the hospital bed, tubes and wires hooked up to her. "What happened?" Eli asked, his gaze concentrated on the doctor so that he could ensure that he got an honest answer.

Emily looked down and started twiddling her thumbs as the doctor spoke, "This morning Emily took an excessive amount of sleeping pills in attempt to end her life and we had to pump her stomach to remove the drugs. She should recover physically fairly soon, but she hasn't been able to open up to anyone yet, and since she knows you, we are hoping that she will talk to you. She is currently on 24 hour suicide watch." Eli saw that the doctor wasn't withholding any information and he responded with, "Oh." As he exhaled deeply, running his hands through his hair.

The doctor left the room and Eli moved closer to Emily and pulled up a chair next to the bed. What do I say? Loker thought. I can't exactly start off with "how are you". "Emily," Loker said while placing his hand on hers, "You could have talked to me, or anyone at the office, we wouldn't judge you, you know that." Emily withdrew her hand from under his and brought it to her chest. "We care about you, and I want to help. You can talk to me Em." They sat in silence for a few minutes, Loker not wanting to push her too much. "I didn't want you to read me." Emily whispers. "Huh?" Loker asks, not expecting to hear her voice. "I didn't want to talk to you, or dad, or Foster, or Torres because I didn't want to be read."

"I understand that but why did you do it?" Eli asks, rather bluntly. Emily looks up at him, and he nods, wanting her to speak. "I don't know, it was selfish I guess. I just… when I wake up every morning I don't want to live anymore. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I just… I just thought that there was no point. I mean dad would miss me, but moms so involved in her work and I just thought that it would be better if I were… gone. You know?" Emily asks her voice catching. "I would miss you Em." Eli says, his voice soothing.

"You're just saying that because I'm here." Emily says, gesturing to the hospital room around her. "No I'm not." Eli counters, "I'm saying it because you're Emily, a wonderful young girl full of potential and the whole world would miss you if you were gone." "I thought you had this radical honesty pledge." Emily mumbles, pulling up the blanket, creating a barrier between her and Loker. "It's the truth Em. I care about you." Eli says gently.

They sit together for a while, discussing random topics, neither of them wanting to touch on the sensitive topic. "What am I going to tell my dad?" Emily questions, "He will never forgive me." "I'm sure he will, and I'll be here to back you up. Speak of the devil." Loker says as Lightman walks around the corner of the hallway, towards Emily's room.

"Emily what the bloody hell happened love?" Cal says, striding through the door. "Loker out now, I need some time alone with my daughter." Emily looks up at Eli, her eyes wide and pleading. "I think," Loker clears his throat, "I think that I should um stay." Cal glares at him but then his face softens and he moves towards Emily. "Emily, love you could have talked to me." Lightman says, sitting on the edge of her bed. Emily looks away, not meeting his eyes.

"Look at me, love." Cal says, gently guiding her face with his hand. "No." Emily replies. "No?" Cal asks, confused. "I don't want you to read me." Cal nods slightly, understanding. "Look, love, I will love you no matter what, even if you don't love yourself, ok?" Cal says sincerely, "I love you Emily." Emily can't remember the last time he told her that. It wasn't that they didn't express their love for each other, they were just a family that didn't throw around "I love you's" because they thought that it made it less meaningful. They are the type of family that said I love you with a pint of pineapple ice cream. "I love you too, dad." Emily said.

She smiled. Emily Lightman had a beautiful smile.


End file.
